Brilliant self-help parody penner Theo Selles has been awarded the prestigious Bullshitzer Prize for his stunning literary achievement, Selfishness Matters! The award was presented to Mr. Selles by his son Zakary at their country estate somewhere North West of Martha’s Vineyard. In a clearly improvised and emotional speech, Mr. Selles said that he was accepting the award “on behalf of everyone who’s ever had a dream and remembered it.” He went on to say that he was as excited about receiving the award "as if I hadn’t even invented it myself!” When asked how he felt about his father’s achievement his son said, “Whut?” When pressed to elaborate and asked how he felt about anything, the 16 year old boy said, “I dunno.” Stay connected to The Selfish Scoop. More dramatic news to follow!
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