Omens and portents abounded as the heavens aligned for beloved parody penner and Bullshitzer Prize winner, Theo Selles. A Lunar Eclipse and the beginning of Winter Solstice occurred AT THE SAME TIME as Mr. Selles celebrated a birthday! Coincidence, or an indication of how much influence the famed author has over the universe? The Scoop turned to in-house Druidologist and Medium, Ms. Crystal Frigga, for answers. Ms. Frigga intoned, “How can anyone doubt that these events have significance? Signs like these don’t just happen. We have to pay attention to what the universe is saying to us!!!!” When asked what that might be, Ms. Frigga answered, “We can’t always be 100% certain about these matters, but I am sure that Mr. Selles is going to meet a tall dark stranger.” It was left to Mr. Selles to put things into perspective as he accurately pointed out that, “None of this ever happened for whoever wrote those Harry Potter stories”, then he excused himself saying he had to put out some hay for camels as he was “expecting three wise men any time now.” Stay connected to The Selfish Scoop. More dramatic news to follow!
No comments:
Post a Comment