Sex, sex, and more sex did not happen last night at the opulent mansion home of Selfishness Matters author Theo Selles! The Scoop has it on good authority that the renowned Bullshitzer winning parody penner spent a sexless evening alone. By threatening to use The Freedom of Information Act, The Scoop was able to obtain a classified list of people with whom Mr. Selles did not have sex! This sensational list includes such notables as Cassius Clay, Oprah Winfrey, Elton John, Jennifer Lopez, Yogi Bear, Dr. Phil, and the deceased Ella Fitzgerald! When asked about the people he did not have sex with, Mr. Selles declared, “I do have some regrets, but I am not ashamed!” Stay connected to The Selfish Scoop. More dramatic news to follow!
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